I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This is my gift to your gina
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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