I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
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