Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Shame is for Republicans.
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