drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
