is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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