No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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