1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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