Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize