I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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