Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
