afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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