She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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