If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
