He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
