On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
