the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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