I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
