I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
my sisters under your porch take her home
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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