I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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