I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
