I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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