I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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