I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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