So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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