ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize