At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
