There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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