bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
