is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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