Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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