Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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