I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
