fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
