after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
