Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We named our party play list daddy issues
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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