It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
