neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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