The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
