how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
