I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Randomize