No stitches, just platelets and will power
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
