btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
