I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
