I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
