You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize