I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
