good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
