yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
