If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just high enough for therapy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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