remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
