once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
