We won't sleep together?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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