oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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