Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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