Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
