i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
