sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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